Friday 21 June 2013

Suicide

Suicide is a topic that isn't talked about openly enough. 

There are times when we'll scream for help only for society to define our shouts as attention seeking behaviour and for them to muzzle us accordingly. There are jokes being made about suicide in the presence of those who have attempted or seriously considered attempting it, and those people say nothing out of fear. There are adverts on television and magazines about the issue, which families and friends awkwardly ignore. What are we supposed to do, after all? The topic is tabooed. Besides, it's not like ignoring the issue is going to kill anybody, is it?


The problem is, it is. Because with every passed opportunity to talk about suicide, the problem quietly rages on, in the hearts and minds of individuals too terrified to speak up in-case they fall victim to the terrible stigma that accompanies the issue.   

The brutal truth is, every thirty seconds, someone in the world takes their own life. That's roughly two thousand, eight hundred and eighty people per day that are dying because of the stigma surrounding suicide. Those people may be strangers to you or I, but they are someone's child. They are someone's sibling. They are someone's best friend. They all had lives ahead of them filled with new experiences and opportunities, but for whatever heartbreaking reason, they felt as though they couldn't deal with the pain they were presently feeling, and decided that death was the better option for them.
So, what causes people to feel this way? There are countless different reasons that someone would feel suicidal, with mental health issues, bullying, mourning, alcohol dependency, substance abuse, problems at home, financial problems or significant changes in their day to day life being the most common. Scientists also note that those with low levels of the serotonin are between six to ten times more likely to commit suicide than those of who have normal levels of the brain transmitter.

The thing is, people could feel suicidal for any reason. And this reason might seem quite trivial to you, but to this individual, it clearly makes them feel desperately unhappy, and you should therefore take it very seriously. Passing judgement on someone's 'right' to feel suicidal happens terrifyingly often, but is never acceptable. Feeling judged might cause the person in question to stop discussing what they are going through with anyone, which significantly increases their likelihood of attempting suicide. 

A terrifying amount of people are feeling suicidal right now, and some don't verbally express these feelings of hopelessness. Know the signs:
  • Any major disappointments or setbacks (i.e. failing exams, getting fired)
  • Difficulties sleeping, particularly staying asleep
  • Feeling isolated and useless
  • Sudden changes in mood (this can be a negative change, such as social withdrawal, or so called 'positive' changes, such as a sense of calmness)
  • Talking about death, particularly suicide
  • Giving away personal belongings, or tying up loose-ends
  • Taking less care of themselves than they usually do (i.e. eating poorly, lack of concern over personal appearance)
If you are dealing with someone who is feeling suicidal, then my advice to you is simply to listen to them and offer your support. Don't pass judgement, or act as though you know everything they are telling you. Understand that what they are telling you is most likely incredibly difficult for them to say. Encourage them to get professional help. Ensure them that there is absolutely no shame in doing so, and that you will be right by their side if they need you.
Sometimes life can feel like a challenge, sometimes it can appear before us as a mountain we must climb alone, whose peak is among the clouds, out of mind and out of reach. On our bad days, the very thought of the climb seems exhausting and every fibre of our being will scream for us to just give up. And it is on these days that we must remind ourselves why we began to make the ascent in the first place: our view of the world will be incomplete until we find ourselves on top of that mountain, until we can take a deep breath and look down upon the world below in a manner in which only Gods could. Because that view is your proof that the best perceptions of the world come from the eyes and minds of those who have experienced the most pain. I'm not telling you that the climb will be easy. It will involve a lot of clawing and struggling time and time again to find your feet. It's not easy, but then again, neither is life. And sure, it may not be easy, but I guarantee you, it is certainly worth it. 
As bad as you feel right now, know this: it gets better. You will move past this and look upon this time in your life as a changing point, a time where you could have chosen destruction, but instead chose to soldier on. 
Every breath is a second chance, each heartbeat the start to a new story. We are only human. We make mistakes and hurt in ways that no other known beings can. We are flawed creatures, but regardless, we are loved. We have parents and friends and lovers and relatives... And each one loves us in a way completely unique to them. You might not think that anyone would miss you, but you wouldn't be right. There are people in your life to whom you are their entire world. Seven billions souls, and yours is the only one that they feel connected to in this way. And do you know why that is? Because you are a beautiful and intelligent person and because, above all else, you are unique.
I know that the world can seem unbelievably dark somedays, and that the thought of even a pinprick of light penetrating that darkness sounds like an impossibility. If I could wish for a single thing, it would be for this message to be someone's pinprick. But I'm not that great with words, so perhaps this post will illuminate your world only in the form of pixels... And in that case, I apologise for wasting your time. 
I just wanted to remind you that I care about you. I care about your well-being. I care about your life. And I know that somedays, it begins to feel as there's no other option better than death... But there are people out there who would do anything to see you smile again, and they'll help you, if you will only allow them to do so.
I'll sign off by saying this...
When all you can see is a thick veil of darkness, remind yourself that the universe is not devoid of all light. The stars and the moon and the sun are still out there, just waiting for the right time to emerge. Have faith that they will appear once more, and remember that all you need to do is stay alive long enough to bathe in their light.

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